About Me?

This time last year I was settled in my life of obligations. I worked 40 hours a week I kept my home in order, I paid all of my bills early and was in a 15 year marriage with someone I rarely saw. I was trying to build a home and a life full of happiness with someone who didn’t have time for me. I’ve been alone for a long time. I’m still trying to play catch-up to my feelings. I was numb to everything. I felt guilty for being unfulfilled with my life I had everything possession wise a person could need or want. So much money spent on things to keep me distracted and detached from reality.

I took the leap and ended my marriage. I wasn’t prepared for the reactions from my family and friends. It was clear that my choice to end my marriage was going to cost me more than the loss of a husband. The games began, teams were chosen, and I wasn’t going to play. I left everything behind my family, my animals, the house I tried to make a home, my job all of my earthly possessions and keepsakes  I’ve  collected over my life time.

I was blessed with a second chance ironically where I left my life fifteen years earlier. I moved back to my hometown of San Diego from Austin Texas and life hasn’t slowed down. I was fortunate enough to live in a cute love nest on the beach in La Jolla one of the most breathtaking places in the country. With one of the most breathtaking people in the world. Together we walked the shoreline to that pier and back day and night working through our confusion, frustration, hurt, and fears. Those therapeutic walks helped heal us and breathe life back into each other. I have rediscovered that I can love, I have learned that forgiveness is a true necessity for healing, and that forgiving yourself is the hardest step. My anger at God made me feel unworthy to pray. Something changed in me the day I let go of my pride and just did it.

So now I’m a stay-at-home step-mother of three who attends church regularly, meets her husband everyday for lunch, and couldn’t be happier.
 

114 thoughts on “About Me?”

  1. Swanny the Sconnie said:

    hubba hubba

  2. fusionplus said:

    Things are never what they seem and we can’t take anything for granted, including ourselves.

    Thanks for your honesty, keep open and learning about yourself………
    Alison

    • Jessica Ward said:

      I love The Labyrinth!!

      • Thanks for the Like!
        The Labyrinth is one of my favorite movies!
        Attended a wedding in St. Louis close to a month ago and my aunt’s hair was styled somewhat similar to David Bowe’s!
        Everyone couldn’t contain their laughs!!!LOL

      • Dr. Paolo Dealberti said:

        impressed for your blog. Thanks that you liked the new prosumerzen editorial content. If you want we will be more than happy if we can re-print what you write in our art & culture blogzine. If interested please contact us at economy@prosumerzen.org

        regards p.

  3. Boy do I relate to everything you have said here. Leaving my 10 year marriage to the father of my two kids sent a laser like ripple through my family. Estranging me from my brother. I too lost more than a husband in the process. What I have gained in the four years since is a clearer understanding of myself and purpose. A serenity in the face obvious adversity, and the kind of love that I had dreamed of my whole life. I look forward to hearing from you, and sharing with you as we both happily walk the Labyrinth of life.

  4. Patty and I thank you for checking out our blog, Today’s Enlightenment. We appreciate your blog. Your comments in “about myself” support our theme that there is always hope. We believe your final ” …never been happier” support this. We also believe that your brief story about yourself helps support others. We are subscribing to your blog.

    God be with you,

    Ray Gough
    Ray of Hope Ministries
    ROHMNJ.WordPress.com
    Pastorray8070@yahoo.com

  5. Way to open up.. love the way you write.. keep in touch.

  6. tjbrearton said:

    fantastic.

  7. A really brave thing you did to stop living in a situation where you couldn’t be you. Inspirational.

  8. Your writing is inspiring. Thanks for visiting my blog fairfaxdivorceblog.com. I have many clients that are working on big changes in their lives and I do the best I can to help them and, certainly, not make things any harder. Keep writing and sharing.

  9. Nice to learn about the journey you’ve been on. I’ll look forward to future posts. Nice pic–Scripps?

  10. Wow what an inspring life story Jessica, good on you for doing what you felt was right and letting Him lead you 🙂

  11. You have great writing skills- I am learning a lot reading your posts. Once I transfer my old blog, I hope my new posts are as insightful as yours. Keep up the great work!

  12. Jessica…
    Thanks for “liking” my blog the other day. I’m sorry you had to go through what you did but it landed you in a better place. I hope your family have come to terms with who you are and love you anyway.
    Keep loving on those you love!
    Gwen

  13. There are so many blogs out there and sometimes you’re lucky enough to stumble upon one as inspirational, unique and beautiful as this one!!

    Can’t wait to read more 🙂

  14. Hey Jessica, thanks for the like on my post, and thanks for reading.

    I love the title of your blog! Great pun.

    And those California piers are some of my favorite walking sites as well…

  15. Great blog. I like how honest you are. This is a joy to read. Keep it up.

  16. Jessica, thank you for liking my post and following my blog. Good thing the past is over and you sound happy with your new family. Take care.

  17. Beautiful, honorable, courage. Sometimes we have to scare the s**t out of ourselves, to find the truth. Keep fighting the good fight woman!!!!!

  18. nice blog!i am inspired by many entries you wrote.keep on blogging!;)

  19. Thanks for stopping by my blog and liking one of my posts.

    Brave blog you have here. I like your passion!

  20. You were brave and you did the right thing. In life one has to be true to oneself. I discovered my real self following my marriage break-up after 18 years. Up to that point I had been dominated by my ex-wife and was pathetically happy to follow her agenda. I had to learn to love “myself” as all the self-help books say. You seem to have bitten the bullet and done the same thing. Good luck with your second marriage and with your new role as a stepmother. Thanks for writing such an honest blog.

  21. Can’t every really relate from my perspective in the 36th year of my marriage. But I totally can understand as I watch it happen time and time again. Life is such a dice roll. I would never advise someone to get married, but I would say it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

  22. I have never EVER read about someone else losing family and friends through divorce. My situation was horrible, yet I lost everyone close to me in the process. Change makes some people uncomfortable. Thank you for writing what I am still unable to put into words.

  23. isaiah43123 said:

    About Me? is extremely open and honest… very humble. Thanks for stopping by My Hmm Collection. I hope you drop in again soon.

  24. Do you have a twitter?

  25. I guess you gave up good for Greatness! Good Deal, Never settle. I enjoyed this post

  26. Good for you…Opinions of others rarely matter…Walk YOUR Walk!

  27. digitalvoyage said:

    =o)

  28. Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and liking my poem. Wow, what an amazing story. It’s heart-wrenching and inspiring. I have felt so many of the things you described in my own 16 year marriage. And I know my wife has too. We have currently worked things out, but the last couple of years really taught me the true squishy nature of what was advertised as a solid marriage. What you did, seems very courageous. Can’t wait to read more……

  29. Enjoyed reading your about page and look forward to enjoying reading your blogs. As someone who has taken a huge leap too, your story is that of inspiration. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  30. Hi there, thanks for visiting my blog and liking my post on Libraries. It’s appreciated! I expected to come here to give you a polite thanks…then I read your About Me. Wow, your story really hit close to home, REALLY close. Thanks, not so much for the ‘like’, but for your story.

  31. I think so many of us can relate to your story. I moved to Dallas, TX from San Diego (and La Jolla is truly an amazing place) and am so ready to go back. Good luck to you and your New life. You deserve it.

  32. Hello friend,

    I had sent you a story I wrote about hitchhiking thru CA. Did you ever get a chance to read it?

    -Peace

  33. Thanks for visiting my blog and the “Like”!

  34. Liking the blog, keep it up. I added you to my blogroll on my site BTW.

  35. Thanks for visiting my blog. Kudos to you. Looks you figured it out. Congrats and best of luck.

  36. What a great blog idea and I love your quote. Thanks so much for reading my post and I think you have impeccable tastes in blog themes 🙂
    I look forward to your continued work

  37. Wow – powerful stuff. I think you have found your calling. 🙂

    Glad to hear you took a chance to leave misery to find happiness. I’ve been euphorically married for almost 20 years now but have many friends who are in horrible marriages. I got lucky. Welcome to the club. 🙂

  38. Congratulations on having the courage to make some very difficult and painful changes in your life, and finding happiness that you wouldn’t have known, if you hadn’t made those changes. Hope that you continue to find your fulfillment.

  39. You are an inspiration…

  40. I found you because you took the time to press the like button on my post. Now I’m looking forward to reading your blog. From your “About Me,” I’m already hooked. Good for you for being brave enough to do what you knew you had to do to be happy. I’m so glad it worked out.

  41. I’m glad I found someone so beautiful soul who struggles through life like you .. thank you for following my blog, and I hope to chat with you soon…see yu online Marcelo.

  42. Sounds almost like you recieved the gift of sobriety, Am not suggesting or implying anything, just identifying!
    As you may notice, I do own a wine shoppe, and love it!!

    • Jessica Ward said:

      I don’t drink soda, fruit juice, coffee, alcohol or even caffeinated tea. I don’t smoke and moderate my intake of possessed sugar. I’m really boring. I like to think of it more like a gift of religious revelation…

  43. Good to make your acquaintance – love the title of your blog – thank you for reading mine

  44. Thanks for visiting my site and for liking some posts.

    Your “About Me” section was so well written and I have to say, what you did, is an amazing and brave thing. I know a lot of people that would stay in the marriage because they feel they have no choice. You took that leap even though it cost you so much and yet, here you are, incredibly happy. It’s refreshing to hear that you got that second chance because everyone deserves to be happy!

  45. Sounds like you’re on the right path. May God continue to bless and guide you in all you do.

    From a stronghold point of view, I recommend that you pray blessings over your step children and husband daily. Speak words of love over them even when they’re not being loving. I wish I had done that with my first son. It really works. i did it with my second and, even though late, I am now doing it with my first. Taking my thoughts off of the offense and putting them on what I prayed that God would do. I pray for and speak love over my friends, family, and even some of my enemies.

    Your older sister,
    Pola

  46. Thanks for subscribing to my blog Jessica. Glad you liked my You Tube video : The Healing Power of Animals. I’ve read a few of your posts. I’m glad you found a way through your marital/life difficulties. Life is a hard thing to do!

    Ann

  47. Thanks for linking my post Jessica.
    I spend some time today reading your interesting posts.
    You are a strong, interesting , honest women. It takes a lot of courage to chage your life.
    May Gob bless you and your family

  48. First of all thank you for the comment on my recient Blog. Usually, when I get a comment or two, I go to the readers site and, well, sort of meet them. It’s interesting to note the adventures others are going through during lifes journey. Yours has been interesting and I am sure challanging. As for me, I am happily married, have been for twenty years. I answered a question once that went something like this; What is the dumbest thing you ever did? Followed by what is the smartest thing you ever did. Well that was easy. Dumbest thing I ever did was start smoking. Smartest; I quit smoking. But now that I am a non-smoker, I can say the smartest thing I ever did was get married. Have no kids of my own, but step kids and grand babies all over.

    Your a good writer and seem adventurious, and I think I will keep an eye on your Blog. Interesting and captivating. Have a great day and once again

    Thank you,

    Tallboy (The Horton Journal).

  49. Thanks for reading and liking my posts! 🙂

  50. newlifereel said:

    Hi Jessica,

    Thanks for liking my post. Love your pictures! And good job getting the hurdles out of the way…now you can live your life passionately and fruitfully!

  51. You have a great story. More people need to stop and take control of their lives.

  52. Thanks you for taking the time to look at my blog. I’ve only been to the USA twice, but once was to San Diego, and we had a meal in La Jolla one evening. It’s a lovely place. It sounds as though you have been through some big changes in your life, and I hope that everything continues to go well for you.

  53. You certainly gained traction and are living life on purpose. You write well. Your honesty will benefit many.

    If you aren’t already an Anne Lamott fan check out Traveling Mercies and some of her other books.
    Doug

  54. How Uncertainty Principle rules our lives 😦

  55. God Rocks My Soul said:

    Very inspiring…

  56. dear jessica,

    thank you so much for visiting my humble blog page and liking my poem, sweet regards to you 🙂

  57. Things always go better with God.
    Blessings on you and yours
    John

  58. reading a bit about your story and a few of your blogs, I can’t help but write and tell you that you’ve got courage and I appreciate your words and ideas you give in your blog. I will tell you that even though I love your little saying about not handling the truth, closing one’s eyes can never stop it….maybe that’s why you had to take the plunge and end your marriage…. faith, determination and courage… who wouldn’t love that in a woman?

    T.

  59. I really appreciate the honesty in your words. We grow up believing things are supposed to go a certain way if you have faith. It should protect you from this sort of thing. Being divorced leaves you unsure of your place in the faith community and where you are with God. People talked to me about holding on to God but I couldn’t. I needed him to hold on to me! I just wasn’t able to do and understand anything. Eventually the pieces start to form an image. I don’t pretend to know “why” for most things but I’m learning to let go of that question and move forward. What I do know is that you are loved. D.

  60. Thanks for the blog “like”. Yours is insightful, challenging and well-written…
    – D

  61. Ms. Ward, so glad you stopped by http://www.thehistoryofthings.com and Liked something I wrote. maybe, you could consider coming back and subscribing. we always need the friends.

    in any case, i enjoyed your recent post, and you can count me as a follower.

    be well,
    gabe

  62. workingonthemindbodyandspirit said:

    Really great post! I can only imagine how scary it must have been to make the choices you had to make. I’m so glad you stopped by my site so I could find out what a great one you have.
    ~ Gina

  63. What a refreshing read! The energy your blog exudes is like a warm, summer breeze. Keep it up. How can I subscribe?

  64. hi

    well Life is full of Prizes… not Surprises…. there is no such thing surprise coz God always show us the way he always warn us before putting us any peril.

    I am not working 40 hrs a week, I never paid my bills on time i hardly make my home well organised nor i have any in my life so special, though once there was a person who was so special like a heart but there is nothing.

    but still when ever I want to share, want to express, want to listen the symphony of love or want to be with someone, feel alone, God always fulfil my wishes :). Then i realise those perils are also the part of this life and so I called them Prizes of God coz without those prizes we wont able to understand the true meaning of those things which we always want to be a part of our lives… 🙂

    Your blog is really inspiring and a reflection of everyone’s life 🙂

    keep going and God bless u

    regards

    Ahmad Ladhani

  65. Hello! I wanted to let you know that I nominated you for a Liebster Blog award. It’s meant for blogs with less than 200 followers that a fellow blogger feels deserves more attention. I definitely feel you deserve more attention!

    The rules are simple:

    1. Thank the person who nominated you, and link back to their blog.
    2. Nominate and link to five other blogs that each have less than 200 followers but that you think deserve more.
    3. Spread the Liebster Blog love Karma!

    So simple, and a quick way to make someone’s day!

    Don’t forget to post the Liebster Blog badge in your post and on your page. You can copy it from my page.

    http://awonderouslife.com/2011/12/07/uno-dos-tres/

    {hugs} – mzklever, Life of Wonder

  66. What an elevating posting. Thanks, Jessica 🙂

  67. Great to see such an open and honest blog.

  68. Hey Jessica: Just wanted to thank you for all your LIKES. I appreciate the encouragement!

  69. I am happy you found peace. Aloha, and thanks for liking!

  70. feelthrough said:

    Your posts are not just amazing, but free from all sorts of hesitation that many of us experience in depicting the truth. Above all, your ideas are fresh. The reality you unveil so dominantly is what keeps the readers cling to your write ups (that’s what i think :))
    A fabulous blog it is, and i hope you keep pursuing this passion amid all the shadows of life. God Bless!

  71. Wonderful writing—lots of concentrated energy in this!

  72. God Bless you. Keep up the good writing. Greetings from the country of the midnigth sun, Sweden.

    Ric

  73. wessuzawa said:

    Thank you Jessica for clicking like on my latest blog post. It is very much appreciated. Please have a wonderfully blessed day and keep up your great writing also!
    Wes

  74. Almost30Something said:

    Hi Jessica, I just wanted to stop by and say thanks for checking out the blog and “liking” one of our posts. I read your Holiday post and I know how you feel. I am not a big holiday gril myself. I have followed your blog so I now I will be able to see whenever you update.

    Cheers!

    M Dot
    http://www.almost30something.com

  75. Reading your “about me” page, gave me hope for myself 🙂

  76. So you hit the “Reset Button” on your life? Very cool – and brave!
    A blog is a reflection of the blogger’s mental state and yours appears pretty sound, young lady!

  77. Hey thanks for having a look at my blog post. So I thought of checking your profile. And m glad that u like it. And here I found how tragic your life was. But till the end of this description i felt happy for you that you “gave yourself another try”.
    Have a happy life ahead.

  78. Hey Jessica! Thanks for the “like” on my blog entry today at ilifejourney. I have enjoyed browsing your blog entries and especially appreciate your candor. Thanks for sharing the journey! Blessings!

  79. I laughed heartily at your “Crack” post today. I am folllowing your journey and thanks for sharing your talent.

  80. Wow! What a backstory! It’s wonderful to read about how someone gains control by letting go. Thanks for liking my posts, btw.

  81. inspiredhealthcoach said:

    Just like so many others above me, I came to say thank you for checking out my blog and liking my post and ended up entranced by your stories.
    Your journaling through this journey is healing to you and many who read it. Beautiful writing…

  82. You have inspired me! Thank you for being so open with your past and your life.

  83. Hi there and thank you for passing through and likeing not one gasp… but three of my posts! 🙂 Very sweet of you to take the time to look at my ramblings.
    I’m humbled.
    Obviously, i’m loving your blog here, so without further ranting, I will follow you and obviously read and like more of your posts! 🙂
    Have a lovely week and stop by my door anytime time. You’re always welcome and It’s always open.
    Blessings.

  84. This is a very open and honest soul searching post, lesson of your life.
    THANK YOU, it made me think of my recent divorce and life as well.

    ps. I also like the downsizing and getting rid of stuff, not finished, but soon.
    Thanks again,
    Cheers ~Ed

  85. Wish I could be that eloquent with talking about the similar situation. Love to you for being a wonderfully bold woman. The people who care about you most will appreciate your new found happiness, if not, they never cared in your sadness.

  86. Jessica,
    Your blog is inspiring and beautiful. We have followed you so we can learn more about you.

    Blessings,

    Anna

  87. Hi Jessica, I was browsing your blog and I find it great how honest your are sharing your life experiences – very inspirational reading!!

  88. Hello Jessica, I look forward to reading more on your blog. Thank you for your honest and heartfelt writing. Have a great weekend!

  89. Thanks for visiting my blog – glad you found some messages there that spoke to you! Keep the fabulous, open perspective…it moves mountains!.

  90. Hi, Jessica!

    I admire your courage. A friend of mine recommends this book that I have not yet read but soon will: I Quit!: Stop Pretending Everything Is Fine and Change Your Life. It’s a book that seems to affirm the decision that you made. It may as well speak to those whose experience is similar to what you had, or anybody who might want to know why quitting may be good for them.

    Amazon doesn’t pay me for this, but here’s a link to the book and the reviews:
    http://www.amazon.com/Quit-Stop-Pretending-Everything-Change/dp/0310321964

  91. Best wishes to you and yours!

  92. For a moment I thought you were walking the beach with God. I am relieved that he was another man, whom you go to meet for lunch? Why make the effort for forgiving? It is getting busy that forgets the past, a nice way of thinking that we have forgiven a little. Pride and humility go hand in hand, depending on you confidence level at the moment, I think. Thanks for patronizing my blog Jessica.

  93. Thanks for stopping by at one of my blogs 🙂 It takes a lot of courage to divorce and to rebuild your life! I have gone through it too and although my ex has run away with a lot of my money, I am a lot happier. And you are so right, forgiving somebody and especially yourself is difficult. But we made it! Keep up the good work!

  94. I too share a similar story. God bless you and your new found happiness. Cheers to second chances. 🙂

  95. Thanks so much for liking my article, Jessica!

    Good luck and continued happiness to you,
    Marci

  96. Hey there,
    I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award- check it out here: http://missmegp.wordpress.com/2012/01/06/the-versatile-blogger-award/

    I enjoy reading your blog!
    -Miss Meg

  97. Love it and other post. Please follow and enjoy my Blog http://theheatblast.wordpress.com/

  98. skylah1053 said:

    You’ve been nominated for The Versatile Blogger Award
    http://kissthemuse.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/1-94-baffled/

  99. Thanks so very much for stopping by my blog! It means a lot to me that you liked my post!

    Best,
    D

  100. whitelocust said:

    Nice Site, interesting life, very similar to my own.

    The Locust

  101. Glad you were brave enough to start over fresh. So many aren’t as strong as you are.

  102. workingonthemindbodyandspirit said:

    Hi Jessica! I love you site and your honesty. I just added you to a list of recipients for The Versatile Blogger Award, http://workingonthemindbodyandspirit.wordpress.com/the-versatile-blogger-award/ Again, great site. Congrats!!
    ~ Gina

  103. God is good. The Bible says, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me” …. which has always struck a chord with me. What David is telling us in that psalm is that God does not promise there will be no dark valleys in life. What he is telling us, is that when we have to go through them, God will be by our side the whole way. Sounds like you walked through your valley and have come out the other side. Congratulations for having the courage and wisdom to follow your heart. 🙂

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